Writing is one of only a handful of things that I KNOW that I'm good at it but I worry that, when it's all said and done, will I just be like many before and after me who will be a great writer that no one has ever heard of. Maybe I'm a bit narcisstic in calling myself a "great" writer but, if I didn't truly believe that I was good at what I did then I wouldn't be doing it.
I worry that people will look at my books as being "run of the mill" or just average when I want them to be so much more than that. Any time I write something I want to give readers something different than what they've read before. I want them to feel the characters and the soul that I've put in it because any time I write something I put myself into it because what I write, in varying degrees, is me, even in the H.U.B. series.
But, at the same time, I find solace in knowing that total strangers who have read my book have loved it. I find joy in the fact that even one person has spent their money on something that I have created.
It still amazes me that a reader will leave a comment to me on Goodreads.com telling me that I'm a "great writer" and that they wish they could write a book like Head Above Water. Reading that lets me know that I've accomplished what I had hoped to do, even if I may be 999,000 people short of my intended sales goal.
I find joy in myself - in the fact that I'm committed to doing something, no matter the hurdles or setbacks that I face. I love how I keep trying to find reviewers and keep finding festivals, conventions, radio shows, etc... to get my books out. It makes every penny I've spent worthwhile.